"May I Please Take a Message?"

Long gone are the days that we take a message all we can do is leave one. With cell phones, blackberry's, and iphones our worlds have change and so has phone etiquette or the lack there of. I blame the lack of politeness on the speed of technology we seem to have a hard time evolving our personalities at the same speed. Though it may seem that it is common sense the ability to carry our phone conversations out of the house has made us forget we are out of the house. The manner in which you use your phone in the presence of others can really effect your relationships. If you are unable to pull yourself away from your phone your friends, family, or significant other, they can have doubts on their importance to you. Not to mention there are just a few inappropriate locations to be having a phone conversation out of respect to anyone; such as, when in the car with others, quite sitting areas/lobbies/waiting rooms, and lines to name a few. There are also some specific times that your should not be on your phone (this means, browsing the internet, texting, talking, e-mailing, or playing games) either that I will touch on in my bullets below. 

PHONES AND DATING

Your phone use can say a lot about you. I have not gone out on a second date with a person because they were addicted to their phone. I am not going to compete for attention with a phone. So what should you do with your phone on a date? Turn it off or at least put it on silent. Now don't freak out I know that I just took away your "something bad happened" and I have to leave immediately phone call. But if that is how you get out of a bad date than this is what I recommend. Leave you phone on, when you get you life saver phone call from your BFF answer it if you need it and if you do say " Oh, I am so sorry I forgot to turn this thing off. Now what were you saying again.". And just like that you have shown them you are polite and are interested in them. Fabulous! 

Phones of your significant other or new dating partner have been known to spike ones curiosity. But let me warn you this is dangerous territory... proceed with the greatest caution! A phones history can tell a lot about someone's activities it's true, that is why any of us have had an urge to take a peak. However this urge usually steams from a lack of trust or insecurity in a relationship. Though the information you may find may give you ammunition to kick them to the curb you should have just followed your gut and dumped them anyway. And if you happen to find nothing then you just broke the trust of your partner and they now have right to kick you to the curb. I have looked on a boyfriends phone once and swore I would never do it again. Trust is important and a two way street don't let this new invention become a reason you disregard it. And besides which you don't need to look on the phone to see... you'll know if they are getting inappropriate calls/text all the time at inappropriate times it is then you confront and if you suspect you are not getting the truth than ask to look at the phone. If they love you and your insecurities are untrue they should want you to feel better and let you take a peak.

THE MOVIES

Why am I bring up the movies... well because though we all know it is rude to even talk in the movies period and the movie screen even reminds us to turn off our phones, some of us don't seem to know that texting is inappropriate too. Have you noticed in the dark theater that bright light starts flashing around from a cell screen it is just down right distracting out of the corner of your eye. The theater is dark for a reason... so that you can get lost in a movie and forget you share this world with rude people. So stop chewing loudly, talking, and texting and just enjoy the movie you just paid money to go see!

THE UNATTENDED PHONE

Its vibrating of the table while blaring some crazy song that you cant even tell what it is cause it is too loud for the little speakers of the phone, your looking around and know-one is coming to attend to it... just as you start to think what you should do it stops. Phew! and then you hear... BEEP... and then once again a minute later... and again, and again... you can't ignore it...AHHHHH now what!

Silence it! most phones have a button you can push on the sides... just push them or if its a flip phone open it and shut it, you don't even have to look at the phone which is preferred; since my NUMBER ONE RULE OF AN UNATTENDED PHONE is to never answer it! Unless someone asks you too, don't! It is a huge invasion of privacy and you shouldn't do it know matter how well you know the person. Now the only time silencing a phone gets tricky is if it is in someone's bag, yicks, now what? Well you have a few options, though a jacket or something over it to muffle the sound, locate the person and let them know their phone is beeping, or stick in your ear phones and call it a day. 

Now if you are the one leaving your phone unattended then try to remember to silence it disarm any alarms that override the silence mode and for goodness sake if you are in the habit of leaving your phone laying around put a password on it for those who get curious, especially if it is a blackberry or something.

PHONE QUARRELS

I don't care if I don't know you or will never see you again... I don't want to hear you fighting, yelling, or using inappropriate language. My two best and recent examples of this take place in a public sitting area and in the waiting area at a gate in the airport. 

In the sitting area on my computer I was beginning to have a difficult time concentrating on my own task. There was only one other person in the same area as me and she was on the phone... yelling at her boyfriend about how she did not want to compete for attention from him with his mother. And then to my astonishment she also yelled that she wished his mother dead! Needless to say I had to eventually pack up my belongings and relocate but why she wanted me to here about how she was willing to stay with her boyfriend who clearly made her unhappy I'll never know.

At the airport I was reading a magazine I was quite interested in the article it was about shampoos and other hair care products. I once again was finding his hard to concentrate. Sitting two seats away was a girl who I swear swore every five words or so and very loudly. Everyone around could hear her because I soon noticed many people looking at her out of the corner of their eyes. 

LEAVE A MESSAGE 

Many people only have cell phones these days... if you use your cell number on your resume have an appropriate voicemail recording... your future employer will not be impressed with you burping "leave a message". Along with this same idea, as cool as the "please enjoy this music while you party is being reached" with slim shady it isn't professional either. 

Leave me a blog message and share your rude phone stories below. Hope you find this helpful or at least a little humorous. 

My Grandma Never Crocheted Anything about Facebook

I can not even imagine what it would be like to sit with my grandma and show her my facebook page. I don't even know what she would think. Clicking here, things popping up there. I never even got the opportunity to even share e-mail with her. Even though my grandmother is not here for me to show her my FB if she was, there isn't anything on there that I would be embarrassed for her to see or read. There is the exception of a few of my friends' pages... or even my cousin for that matter. She might fall over dead if she saw that one! Though FB is a fabulous place to showcase your life and keep virtually in-touch with friends and family... it is no place to be actin' a fool. 

YOUR IN PUBLIC. Though it may not feel as such, you are, and if you wouldn't be taken off your shirt and showing everyone your cute new bra in the middle of times square in January than DO NOT show anyone on FB either! This is also not the place to showcase your intimate make out sessions with that hot new boy you met the other night and is now your hot new boyfriend. We are all so happy for you that you have a new love interest. I still don't want to be present at your kissing sessions nor does anyone else; virtually or other wise. The proper way to broadcast your love is using your relationship status in your information section. It will even come up on everyones news feed. But remember it will also come up in their news feed when you break up, so be cautious before you go around making it FB official you are in a relationship (if you are not already cautious for the sake of propriety). Getting off my soap box here is a list of my do's and dont's of FB:

Do:

• update your info regularly (every few months or after any significant change) 
  

• delete applications and groups you don't visit/ use regularly 
  

• write a quick "hello how are ya" on your friends walls every few months... thats why you should be fb friends to keep in touch.
  

• FB stalk, if people don't want you to read or see then they shouldn't put it up 
  

• use your status... how is anyone supposed to know what you are up to?

• go through your tagged photos of your self... un-tag some of the not so flattering ones. Besides which if someone is checking out your profile you can't look through 700+ photos of someone, the ten of you in the same place but you hand moves ever so slightly are my favorite examples of this. (another good rule is after photos being up for 6 months if its not your favorite one of you un-tag it)

• check your privacy settings limit what info people can see who are not your friend.

• take advantage of the privacy settings when creating a photo album for those pictures of you and your friends you want to share with them but not necessarily your future employer or grandmother.

Don't:

• Friend everyone! If you would not write on their wall comment on any of their activity they are not a friend. The ONLY exception is if you are using it as a work tool for networking and even then I suggest using a networking site such as LinkedIn
  

• use someone's wall as a way to hash out a disagreement, break up, or any other personal or private conversation!!!! If you really can not talk to them face to face use e-mail or at least send them a private message on FB. IT IS MOST CERTAINLY THE LAST PLACE FOR AN APOLOGY OF ANY KIND!!!
  

• go looking for trouble because you are nosy with your FB stalking you may feel awkward when you have to explain why you know something later on. Especially if others don't follow my list of do's and dont's. 
  

• update your status everyday. If you are habitual status updater use something like twitter to let everyone know what you are doing all day everyday.

There is so much out there in terms of FB etiquette. There is even a Facebook Etiquette group. (Not that I recommend joining... I think they are a little over the top example 17. when you make an album tag and caption all pictures except group shots of 15 or more. ummmm get a life!) Just always keep in mind you are in public. Look at all the options for your settings. It will allow you to go skinny dipping here and there with out getting caught or have explaining to do. 

If you still encounter a question of proper Facebooking write me!

Etiquette The Lost Art

In a world where anything goes sometimes we struggle to figure out where things really go. We never seem to loose sight of what is fashionable (well at least most of us) but even then, sometimes with all that is out there we forget about some of those fabulous essentials and overdo it. We can walk out of the house one trendy mess. But those of us who always keep those classics in our every day wardrobe and adorn it with those new fab pieces we splurge on, we walk out looking amazing. Socially speaking it is time to go to the back of the closet and dust off some of those essential teachings of etiquette our grandmothers crocheted on pillows. If we give them a modern twist they will guide us to be better connected through thoughtfulness and kindness; not just through facebook, twitter, blogs, e-mail, and what ever other social media is out there. Today we need to know where to sit your fiancé's father and his new girlfriend  (who happens to be your age), do you bring a hostess gift, what is a hostess gift, do I send a thank you via e-mail or snail mail, and what about those social medias you use... there is proper facebook etiquette believe it or not! Ahhh it could make your head spin... but lets stop spinning as I blog some of my solutions and my favorite web sites that tamed all my social nerves.